Pizza, Anyone?

Funny, yet not so funny. From our (insert sarcasm here) *dear friends* at the ACLU.

Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe

Chicken Noodle Soup, The Old Fashioned Way!

If you want chicken in your soup the first thing you have to do is go to the barnyard and catch an old hen that has done her time, laying eggs and raising biddies.

If you are lucky, you can find one of your kids that can shoot a match head off at 30 paces, and have her shoot the chicken for you. If you can't find someone as talented as that, just run the chicken down. This will give you the exercise needed to reduce your cholesterol (unknown in those days.)

After you have caught the poor thing, grasp it's two legs firmly in the right hand, (left hand if you are left handed.) Oh, first you must alert your father that he should sharpen the ax. After this is done, you lay the chickens head on a chopping block that is made from the scrub oak that your men have dragged from the mountain, and hold the chicken so it won't move. With one mighty blow, you hope, the head will be cleanly severed from the chickens body.

Then throw the chicken out into the grass and let it flop around until all the blood has drained from it's body. Soon it will be ready for the next step!

I am getting things, sort of, in the wrong order, but anyway, before you chase after the chicken you should have planned to start a fire in the wood-burning range and carried a tub of water from the ditch and have it boiling by this time. Then immerse the carcass into the boiling water and then you can sit down on another oak stump and enjoy the smelly task of plucking the feathers off the bird.

Save the small feathers for pillow making, at a later date, because you must not waste anything. Do not save the big feathers, because they poke through the pillow ticking and this does not make for comfortable sleeping!

After all feathers are removed find a wood match, some of your 10 kids homework papers and light the torch. Hold the chicken above the flame for this singes all of the little hairs and the small down that may be left on the bird. Rub your hand around the chicken to remove the singed hairs-feathers and you are ready for the next step.

Have you instructed your father to sharpen the butcher knife? If not do it now, for you will need the knife sharp so you can remove the chicken's entrails. Save the giblets, because they will add flavor to your soup. First take the craw and cut it lengthwise and remove all of the gravel that the chicken has in there to grind up it's food. Don't save the gravel for the soup, because they may prove harmful to the teeth.

After this is accomplished, take the chicken down to the clear, un-contaminated stream and wash the chicken thoroughly. Cut the chicken into serving pieces and toss them into a big pot. Boil until tender. If the hen has been around for a few years, this tenderizing may take a long time!

NOW, if you want noodles in your soup you must break about 5 fresh eggs into a large pan. Salt and pepper them to taste. Then add several cups of flour, that has been ground at the nearest grist mill. Make a stiff dough, flour a big place on the table, get the heavy rolling pin down, that your father has carved out of a large oak stump. Roll the stiff dough into almost paper thickness. Flour the dough, generously on top. This will prevent the dough from sticking together when rolled. Starting at any edge, roll the dough into a nice tight roll. Your father has already sharpened the butcher knife, so starting at one end of the roll slice the dough into 1/8 inch rounds. Then call your 10 kids. They will want to help you unroll the little slices and line them up on a floured table. Let noodles rest and dry out a bit before dropping them, a few at a time, while stirring, into the hot chicken liquid.

One must not drop the whole glob of noodles into the boiling liquid all at once, or they will cook into a big wad and you will have to call them dumplings! The best way is to stir the liquid as you add the noodles, so they will cook separated.

If you want some peas and carrots added, you should have thought of this sooner. If the vegetables are not already gathered and cleaned you have to summon your 10 kids again and have them go out to the garden and pick a big batch of peas. They should also be instructed to pull a big bunch of carrots. They may have to be told a few times to get going, but after they gather them they should be instructed to take the carrots to the ditch and wash them. Instruct them to twist the tops off the carrots, but this may take longer, because they will want to slap each other with the wet carrot tops. They also will have to shell the peas. This will possibly delay supper a bit, but you have plenty of time!

Dice, or slice the carrots and add them before you add the peas, because carrots take longer to cook than do peas. The peas can be added a short time before the soup is ready. This whole process of gathering vegetables will take a while, because the 10 kids may eat the first batch of peas raw and have to go for another batch to shell for the soup.

Oh, I forgot the potatoes! If you want potatoes in your soup you should have already sent some or your 10 kids out to dig a few. Tell them that they are only to take the potatoes that are exposed to the sun. Some potatoes always push away from the soil, when they are growing. These should be used first. After the potatoes are cleaned in the ditch and pealed with the sharp butcher knife, they should be diced into the hot liquid. If you dice them small enough they will cook as fast as the carrots.

Now it is time to call the crew in for a delicious feast. You will have to tolerate watching your 10 kids suck up the noodles, because the only way to eat the long noodles is to put one end into the mouth and suck! Grose, you say!? Yes, but what fun for the little darlings!

Now doesn't that sound more fun than opening a can of chicken noodle soup? Much better, also!

Thanks to Julie Janson for this...interesting recipe! Now that's doing chicken noodle soup right!

The Most Beautiful Goats in the World

On the left is Billy (creative name, isn't it?), then Rose. Daisy is the mommy, and Iris is under her.

But Seriously, Folks...

I realize my blogging has been rather aimless lately, so I have a couple of links to remedy the situation today. Mark Steyn wrote an article a while back for the Wall Street Journal editorial page that I thought was very interesting. It has been a while since I have read it, but still wanted to link to it. It's called "It's the Demography, Stupid". Intriguing title, isn't it? I found this through Ladies Against Feminism (link in sidebar). I thought now might be a good time to post it because this Saturday the world is poised to welcome the 6.5 billionth person into the world. To sum things up into to one oversimplified statement: Population control enthusiasts are putting theoretical overpopulation politics above spiritual and practical considerations. In other words, by limiting population in the "civilized" world, they are setting the stage for Muslims to "take over the world". Literally. What do you think?

Olympic Drama

Wow, how exciting! And entertaining! Did you see the drama with the Italian ice dancers? If looks could kill, that man would be dead even as we speak (or as I type?). Apparently they messed up at the end of one of their programs, and it was (I guess) his fault, and boy was she mad. They didn't even speak or look at each other until it was their turn to skate again. Then after they skated, everything was ok. I forget how they finished. Fourth place, maybe?

Olympics and Television

For better or worse (probably worse), we've had the television on more than usual over the past week. The Olympics have been on, and it has been fun to watch the different sports. I especially enjoyed the snowboard cross event (I think that's what it's called), which I guess is new for this Olympics. I didn't think new events could possibly be any good, but this one is!

Here are a few (frank) observations I have made from watching the Olympics:
1. Yep, there are still some pretty bad commercials, even during prime family-viewing time (most of the bad ones are for other shows, it seems).

2. What has happened to men's figure skating? It seemed like at least half of the male skaters wore girly outfits (flounces, sequins in pastel colors, ruffles, etc.) and majored in "gracefulness". What's up with that?

3. The drama in the men's 1000 meter speed skating event between Chris Hedrick and Shani Davis was very entertaining. The interview with a lady NBC reporter Shani gave after he won the medal was priceless. I wish I had a tape of that. What a hoot! I noticed in his next interview after the medal ceremony NBC had an African-American male interview him. I wonder what that was all about? I guess they thought that would make him "open up" a little more or something.

4. I don't like those pants the lady skiers/snowboarders are wearing. They look so...droopy, and masculine. But I guess that's the style. Two words: UH GLEE.

5. I think the normal broadcast schedule is something like 5 minutes of sports, 2 minutes of commercials, 5 minutes cutesy human interest story or interview with the same old questions (what did it feel like, what were you thinking, etc.), 2 minutes of commercials, and so on. So out of 14 minutes of broadcast time, approximately 5 minutes of that is actually the sports.

I read an interesting series on a blog this week about television. It's long, but worth the read. We need to do better on keeping our tv viewing to a minimum. We don't watch a lot of broadcast tv, but videos and dvd's are very tempting to put on, and it's easy to get into a habit that becomes hard to break. Sometimes I wonder if we would be better off without a tv in our home. Other times, I think it makes some pretty interesting blogging material.

The Glad Game

You don't have to be a farm person to get this joke: I feel like Pollyanna, trying to figure out a reason to be glad about 7 degrees. Um...let's see...I've got it! When it's 7 degrees, shoveling in the barn is so much easier because "everything" is frozen solid.

Just Plain Gross

This is disgusting. I like my drinks at room temperature anyway.

Hat tip: Dr. Mercola's blog.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Here's a rerun in honor of Mom:

Nine things I learned from my mother

(In no particular order)
1. People are more important than things.
2. Always look for the best in others' motives.
3. Enthusiasm for new projects
4. There's a value in spontaneity.
5. A love for the Church
6. On children: the more the merrier
7. Extend grace
8. Love for Jesus
9. The pleasure of a good book

Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you!

Virus Tally #2: Winter of 2005-2006

OK, this is so exciting, I just have to share. After a whole year of dreading the return of winter and the dreaded cold/flu season, here is what I have to report:

Husband: 0 colds 0 flu's
Me: 1 cold 0 flu's
Son #1: 0 colds 1 flu (only a fever)
Son #2: 1 cold 1 flu
Daughter: 0 colds 0 flu's

By this time last year, we had suffered through a total of 14 colds and 8 flu's. OK, so maybe this year isn't as bad a year for viruses in general. Is it? January was a very warm month, and we were outside more often than we would normally have been (sunshine and fresh air are very good for you). The only other factor is that our diet is dramatically different now than it was last year, and I am thrilled to pieces that this seems to have been the result. We have gotten sick this winter, just not as much. So....praise the Lord! And pass the cod liver oil! :-)

Funny - From Answers in Genesis

I read an article in the most recent Creation magazine that made me laugh. There was a recent exhibit at the London Zoo labeled 'Humans'. It was basically a group of people being kept in a bear enclosure, trying to prove that people are no different than animals. One of the captive people told the Associated Press, “A lot of people think humans are above other animals. When they see humans as animals, here, it kind of reminds us that we’re not that special.” But after zoo closing time, the people got to drive home. The animals had to stay at the zoo. What was the point again??? harrrrrrrrrrrrr!