I read an article this weekend called
“The Myth of Superwoman”, by Mrs. Jennie Chancey. This article is pure genius. You should go read it, but just in case you don’t, let me summarize with a few choice quotes:
For the past generation, our society has tried to foist upon us the idea of the woman who "has it all" and "does it all." We stand in awe of women who (we are told) run successful businesses, volunteer for community service, keep beautifully decorated homes, send hand-written letters, cook and entertain guests with style, attend artistic functions, bring up happy children and look like a million bucks to boot. As we stand gaping at these idols of domestic and economic success, we wonder exactly where we fell short of achieving their outstanding merits…
Here’s the key: No woman in history has ever done it all or had it all. We all must make choices about what we do. When you choose one thing, something else must necessarily fall through the cracks…
Trying to be Superwoman doesn’t help anyone. It cannot be done. It is a sure path to failure and disappointment. The path to life and health and peace is the way of humility, service and love for others – not seeking praise or recognition but being willing to work hard day after day and find our fulfillment in what God has given our hands to do. Let Superwoman die; put her superhuman accomplishments out of your mind. Instead, work hard today on what is most important and what will make your home a love-filled place for your family and your community. Do it beautifully! Do it without guilt. You are a keeper of the home, and that is a sacred trust that requires an ordinary human being who loves others more than she loves herself. Superwoman need not apply.
You would think it would be just plain old common sense, but somehow the ridiculous idea that being “superwoman” is possible is something we all (ladies, anyway) seem prone to falling for. Sometimes, I think, the world of blogging perpetuates this myth, because bloggers write about what we do. We don’t focus on what we don’t do. So if someone writes about what they do and it’s not something that we do, we tend to start feeling rather…inferior. We think, “Wow! So-and-so sews all her family’s clothing, winter coats and everything! And she home schools and cans all their vegetables for the winter from their garden in the summer! How does she do it all?” We want some tips from this lady on how we can do all that stuff that she’s doing. But we don’t realize that she probably only cleans her toilets once a year, and she mutters under her breath whenever her children grow too fast for her to keep up with the sewing.
So in the interest of full blogging disclosure, I thought I would make my own lists. One list of the things I do, and another list of things that I don’t do. I’m doing my best to live within my limitations, and not feel like a failure even though I don’t have sheep to shear and spin their wool into yarn, which I would then use to weave into cloth to make my children matching outfits, which I would sew myself. My goal is simply to work hard, and do my best to make my home a pleasant place.
Here’s what I do:
- I homeschool my three children. I don’t use a box curriculum. I use bits and pieces of whatever looks good to me, and I plan it all out by myself.
- I cook from scratch. I use very little “ready made” convenience food. I bake my own bread, and do not use boxed breakfast cereal in the morning. I make some sort of breakfast every day (sometimes just toast, but usually more than that). I do this because in our family we are very interested in maintaining good health through nutrition, so it is very much a priority, but it is also something that I enjoy.
- I milk my dairy goat twice a day, and we use the milk for the kids to drink, for kefir, or for cooking. I also take care of the goats (feeding, cleaning, etc.).
- I feed our chickens and collect the eggs (when there are eggs) every day.
- I keep up (barely) with the dishes and laundry.
- I buy organic, which means we take the family on the hour trip to the store once a week (although there are getting to be more options locally for obtaining organic produce, which is very nice).
- We try to do something “fun for kids” at least once a week. Most of the time it is on the same trip as our shopping expedition. Yesterday, we went to the zoo!
- I enjoy blogging and reading blogs.
Here’s what I do not do:
- I don’t haul my kids all over creation taking them to lessons, activities, etc. We are doing t-ball this spring (both boys will be on the same team). That’s about it. I prefer to stay home during the week.
- I don’t lead the ladies' Bible study. Or even attend one. Maybe I should, and at some point I’m sure I’ll go to one in the future. Just not now. We go to church on Sunday mornings. But that’s the only meeting we’re doing right now.
- I don’t sew our own clothes, although I like to sew, and just learned to sew last year (and am still a learner). I like to do handiwork like sewing, crocheting, cross-stitch, etc., but have just had to let it drop. I also don't do crafts.
- I don’t clean house regularly. Things here at home are more disorganized than I would like, but I do not make it a priority. I try to keep things here livable, but it is never spic-n-span.
- I don’t have a business or work away from home.
- I do not wake up at the crack of dawn. Normally, I am late to bed, late to rise.
All of these things that I do not do are good things. It would be nice if I could do all of those things, but it’s just not physically possible. For some ladies, it is better for them to do what I don’t do, and to not do what I do do. We're all different!
"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." (Ecc. 3:1)
