Parallel Living

I read an excellent article last night called Living Parallel Lives in the Same Space. It was in the last string of articles on Ladies Against Feminism. This one is by Michael Pearl. In it, he advises a woman who has written that she feels she and her husband are living "across a river" from their children. His answer is great. If you have kids, you should read it. It's rather long, but it is worth it.

This is such an observable problem in Christian families - parents and children living disconnected lives, and I think Mr. Pearl hits the nail on the head. It is such a temptation for me, too, to go from one task to another, each day slipping by full of tasks, without really stopping to get involved in my children's little projects (although their projects get bigger as they get bigger).

Not only do we need to get involved in their projects, but we need to involve them in ours. We need them to know that they are important in running the household, and that what they say, do, and pray matters to God. That is why I bristle at the idea of spending all of Sunday morning at church away from my children (they never even have to come into the sanctuary with the rest of the adults). And that is why we need to respect their ideas and take them seriously when they want to be taken seriously.

Teaching our children to be "independent", in my opinion, is highly overrated. Or, perhaps it's only mis-defined. I would say that spending all of your time in your room playing video games is not independence, it's self-centered. Learning to pour your own milk or tie your shoelaces is the proper kind of independence to teach a child.